What if you had to write an autobiography, do you know what your title would be? It only has to sum up your entire life in a few words, no pressure. Everyone has thought about this before right? No? Just me?

As I started thinking about this, I realized it was going to be harder than I thought.

“C plus 4”

Well this one didn’t take much thought. It’s inclusive of everyone. Me, my husband and our 3 kids. This seems like the best way to describe me to someone who didn’t know me. You know Cheron, the young incredibly beautiful woman who’s married and doesn’t look like she has had three kids. Okay, okay this might be a slight exaggeration. But I do feel when I’m around people who don’t have kids they look at me like…

“I Have the Cooties”

just because I have kids. Because being a parent could be contagious and they want absolutely nothing to do with it. Speaking of the reaction I get from other people, it made me think of…

“You’ve sure got your hands full”

If only I had enough middle fingers to wave at all the people who’ve said this to me. “Just a couple more and you can have a full team.” What makes these appropriate responses from a complete stranger.  Is it merely the fact that I have 3 children all under 11yo? Maybe when I open my car door it seems that kids keep coming out. Or is it the unmistakable look of fatigue they see while I pretend to not hear my kids speaking over each other each trying to get my attention by screaming “Mommy”? Which generally leads me to say…

“Can I just have a minute?”

Which never seems to happen. What people don’t tell you about motherhood is when you bring a human being in this world those same little miracles suck away your free time. So you find yourself locked in a bathroom trying to have a moment of freedom, but of course even that’s ruined….

“I’m in the bathroom, can somebody bring me some tissue”

and of course, this is the time they realize they don’t need me and want to leave me alone.  Yep the story of my life. “She mastered walking with her pants around her ankles without tripping to get tissue.”

Sometimes the best ideas come from a healthy dialogue among the people who know you best, I enlisted the help of my peeps to come up with some back-up titles.

My husband’s idea…

“How I Met My Prince”

Because of course I can sum up the story of my life with me meeting royalty, disguised in a suit and tie who saved me from my evil step-sisters who locked me in dungeon. Where I talked to my animal friends and could only escape using my long locks. Nope, that’s not it.  He really is my prince.

My 6 yo son gave me…

“Mommy the Super Hero”

Yep, he was always my favorite. He gets me!

My girls came up with…

“Mommy’s living with animals”

Well at least they’re not under the strange impression that they act civilized. Wait?What? They must know they’re terrors. Giving me a hard time and knowingly giving me a hard time is completely different and yes, I will need to have a follow-up discussion with them on that one. Nevertheless, they also gave me…

“Don’t forget the ice” and “Where are my fuzzy socks?”

Dang they hit the nail on the head with those. They know me too well. I always have to have ice when I drink anything, and I am not comfortable unless I have on my fuzzy socks. I’m slightly OCD that way. I thought I was keeping my compulsive habits a secret. Apparently not.

Well I guess if I ever decide to write my story I’ll have a few titles to choose from.

 *Opens book and first sentence reads…

I was born in 19 none of your business, which makes me (sticks up middle finger) years old.  I had 3 children in 11 years…..

 

Til Next Time,

-C