After you have your first child, and any more thereafter, you quickly realize how things are a little different then they once were. Let’s reflect shall we….

1. Clothes

I fell in love with this shirt and I HAD to have it…..DRY CLEAN ONLY……

Well, It wasn’t that special.

2. High Heels

You used to love the way your legs looked in heels. They made you feel sexy. They complimented your favorite dresses.

Now, you see a pair of heels and all you can think is why would anyone want to put their feet in those death traps.

Walks straight to the flats.

3. CAR

You said you would never be caught dead in a minivan.  “That’s so not me.”

OOOOOOHHH……automatic doors.

4. Manicures

You would never be caught without freshly painted nails.

You now like the clear look because with all the dishwashing, bathing, and hand washing, it’s considered a waste of money.

5. Panties

You had a drawer full of sexy panties, and thongs were a wardrobe staple.

You still have all the same panties, you just dig around them in your panty drawer to get to your more comfortable pair.

6. Food

Organic is best. The taste is distinct. A well balanced meal of meat, veggies and grains is of the utmost importance.

HAHAHA…You are happy if your kid eats at all, and well balanced…yeah right.  And, you are not beyond going to the fast food drive-thru.

7. Vacations

It used to be, the more exotic the better. Hey, no need to plan, you loved spontaneity.

Now, you have to plan a year in advance. Exotic? Ha…you now look for key words like “kid-friendly.”

8. Shopping

Shopping was the best. You could spend all day walking around, in your heels mind you.

As soon as you step foot in the mall.  One kid has to use the bathroom (probably poop) and the other is hungry.  

Plus you now undress in front of a very opinionated audience, “Mommy’s got a big belly” and “I see her butt”.

9. Wardrobe

You loved clothes. There were so many options, and you love the way your body looked in every one of them.

Wait……I have to wear a strapless bra and a thong. No spandex….

10. Drinking

You used to be able hang with the best of the them. Beer, wine, whatever.

Now, you have a couple glasses of wine and after you finish the dancing “the oochy coo” you conk out on the couch and awaken to a new day.

11. Baths

You loved exploring new scents of bath salts for long soaks by candlelight.

Now you’re lucky if you can shower. And when you do you’re in and out so quick, you can barely avoid tripping on your kid who’s sitting criss-cross applesauce watching.

12. Exercise

You were the “exercise gives you energy” type. A nice run did your body good and you couldn’t resist a good stretchy pant.

Now you chase your kids around the house to increase your heart rate and later decide if you need more….

Sucks in stomach as you walk past mirror. Yep still ‘suck-inable’, good for today, walks to kitchen for Ben&Jerry’s chocolate fudge brownie………in your stretchy pants.


Til next time…..