New mommy bloggers trying to gain footing in the mommy blogosphere can be compared to an FBI agent trying to infiltrate the mafia, Donnie Brasco style. What I’ve learned in my 8 months of blogging, which by no means makes me a expert, is it’s REALLY hard. It’s like trying to obtaining a PhD, and you have to write a thesis every week in hopes to graduate to BIG blogger status.

If you are a new blogger or you’re thinking about starting a blog, here are 8 things you should know to get you started.

1. Obtain an online degree in Sales and Marketing

This will help you get a leg up. Because if I’ve learned anything from blogging, it’s all about selling yourself. You’re adding yourself to the many mompreneurs out there.  Jamberry, Greens and Wraps, Avon and you MOMMY BLOGGER.

2. Get a gym membership for Boot Camp classes.

You need to have extremely tough skin, so go join a class where you get yelled at up close. The meaner the instructor the better. The physical and mental toughness you’ll gain will get you through the tough times.

3. Scope out the biggest, most popular, badass mommy bloggers.

Once you find them, stalk them on the internet. Not crazy lady, Misery style, just stalk their social media. You have to know what your audience likes right?

4. Scope out the biggest, most popular, badass mommy blogger’s circle of popular badass blogging friends.

Stalk them too. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “keep the bloggers close and their friends closer.” No? Well if you haven’t heard of it, then you are worse off than I thought.

5. Watch a movie about high school. “Clueless” for example.

In the blogging world, just like Heidi Klum says about the fashion world, you’re either in or you’re OUT! Think of the big bloggers as Alicia Silverstone and her blogging friends as Stacey Dash. And ALWAYS remember, it’s not who you know, but who knows you!

6. Ditch your day job and your kids (except when you need content).

Blogging is time consuming. Writing, marketing, reading other blogs, commenting and sharing. OH MY!

7. Find pockets of time. Here are some examples of some pockets I’ve found.

  1. Using the bathroom
  2. Middle of the night
  3. In carpool line
  4. In line at the grocery store
  5. On lunch breaks
  6. In between commercial breaks
  7. Waiting for water to boil
  8. Watching the washing machine on final spin cycle

I can keep going, but you I think you get the picture.

8. Have fun!

Believe me its the only thing that keeps you going!  I blog because I like to laugh, even if I have to laugh at myself and I’m the only one laughing. That sounds a little more depressing than I thought!

P.S. Always have a pen and paper available. When I started blogging, I would always get these ideas and would forget them before I had a chance to write them down. I would dream about blogging and wake up in a cold sweat when I realized I didn’t have my phone or a pen and paper handy. Of course I never let that happen again, and now I sleep with the phone to my left snuggly in between the husband and I and a pen and pad to my right. AND I risked my life in the car to jot down an idea on an old receipt just for me to accidentally throw it away. That idea would have been my ticket to stardom. But for now, I’m a struggling artist/blogger.

GOOD LUCK! (This post was obviously just for fun. Don’t come hunting me down if your blog fails)

Til Next Time