Image courtesy of Simone’s Photography


 Have you heard about this? It’s quite an amazing advancement, and I hail this Aussie mom for leading the way! I’m the first one to stand up for the rights of women. I would’ve burned my bra to make a statement. WAIT, let me take that back, maybe I would’ve just taken it off and waved it around vigorously. Bras are too expensive. But when I saw this, I shook my head to say AH HELL NO.

As a mother to three, having delivered all via C-section, if I was presented with the option to have the chance to help deliver my baby during my surgery, I would have paused for a brief second to consider. I desperately wanted the chance to push that watermelon sized baby out of my grape-sized Vajayjay, and this is probably the closest thing to that for women who have to have C-sections, but I would have opted to pass because….

1. I think somethings should be left to the professionals.

2. The way I figure it, they block our view with that blue paper curtain for a good reason.

3. Even after doing all the work, they’re still charging me full price.

4. My arms are too dang short.

5. Do I really want to be moving around with my stomach cut open?

6. Between the smell of burning flesh (sorry if too graphic) and the horrible, shocked, about to puke my ass off any minute look on my husband’s face I’m sure it’s not pretty.

7. What if I got too overzealous and pulled out something else?

8. I’m always dropping things, don’t want the slimy little one to slip from my hands.

9. What if after all the scrubbing and then carefully putting on my sterile gloves, I accidentally scratch my nose.

Besides…

10. This is my only chance to lay down and relax before the baby is born.

 

 Til Next time,

-C